The charge nurse walks in to introduce herself. She says that my nurses aide had told her the difficulty that I had showering and ambulating. We talk for awhile and she asks what I think about her recommending physical therapy to my surgeon. I tell her I never imagined that I would be saying this, but that I thought that sounded good. All I wanted to do was to get back to normal and if physical therapy could possibly get me there, lets do it! In a little bit, the charge nurse returns to my room. She tells me she phoned my surgeon and he said I did not need physical therapy. I was pretty aggravated at the time, but later when I found out what I actually had and what made this whole experience so terrible, I was furious! With CRPS, you have to move and the quicker you can get therapy it lessens your chances of having this get worse and spread. I try not to think about it because I can’t do anything about it now. But I sometimes wonder what I would be like had he said ok. Would things be any different now?
For the remainder of that Saturday I attempted ambulating, then resting, then ambulating, then resting with the occasional meal in between. I longed to go home in the morning but was scared to death, at the same time. I still couldn’t do much of anything for myself, still so stiff I could barely move, hurt deep down in my bones, and my hand was still turning purple off and on. The surgeon said just to give it time, I should be back to normal soon. I kept thinking maybe if I go home, I’ll feel better. Just get back to my normal life. I was off work for a bit, maybe I could just lay by the pool in the warm sun. I get ready to go to sleep for the night telling my mom how I want to go home in the morning. She tells me that we need to see what the surgeon says because she’s not sure I’m ready. “But what are they doing for me here?” I say. I felt like we could do everything at home that was being done there. I go to sleep for the night thinking I’m about to go home. I’m about to see my yorkie, Baby, whom I’m missed terribly. She was being “Babysit” by my in-laws. I think, what has my wild cat, Leo, gotten into while I’ve been gone? I’m just ready to go home and get back to my normal life. What I don’t realize at this point is, my life will never be the same again. I woke up from this surgery a changed person…in many ways.