But you don’t look like you’re in pain!

Recently one of my close friends told me about a comment that was made to her. She has recently lost quite a bit of weight and someone told her she looked like a stick and that she didn’t need to lose anymore weight. She asked me why people feel like it’s ok to say things like that to people? My response to her was that I’m not sure why people feel the need to say hurtful things to others! She further made the comment that people seem to think that skinny shaming is ok, but that fat shaming is a NO! Please know, there is no difference! Regardless if you are telling someone they are too skinny or too fat, know that you are being hurtful! And to be quite honest, it’s really none of your concern!

One thing that I hear over and over is, “You don’t look like you’re in pain.” Well, shoot fire! Let me apologize for not crying through my day so that I may allow you to believe that I’m actually in pain! Just because someone isn’t crying, most certainly, does not mean that they are not in pain. Perhaps it means they are a pretty strong person! Pain is subjective, meaning it comes from the “subject;” it’s not something you can test for. Pain that cripples one person, may not cripple another. Pain affects each person differently. Let me clarify, without any treatment, I don’t know anyone who could withstand the pain that comes with CRPS! Most people try to go throughout their day not letting others see just how bad they feel. I try to do this, but those close to me can usually tell when I’m having a bad CRPS day. They tell me they can see it in my eyes, which is what my mom has always told me.

I really feel like my recent visit to the large hospital’s pain management specialist would have been much different if I had cried throughout the visit. Maybe then she would have believed I was in pain. Although that sounds ridiculous, that is how I feel. I did not feel like she believed anything I said, nor that she believed I was in pain. I pray that she was just having a bad day. The thought of someone non-medical going to her, someone who doesn’t know this is not acceptable and most certainly not the norm is sickening. A lot of people are scared of hospitals and doctors and avoid them at all cost. I would hate to see one of these people go to someone like this, this would only turn them more against the medical field.

The moral of this story is, just leave people alone! If someone says they’re in pain, know they are in pain! You can only change you, not anyone else! If someone else chooses to do something that you disagree with, it’s not the end of the world! And again, it is NONE of your concern! It is their decision to make, their consequences to live with. There is no sense in arguing about it, no sense it getting mad over, no sense in even giving it a second thought! Just mind your own business and worry about you! Just choose to be kind! ❤️


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